In the journal of Make Sh*t Up…oh, wait, I mean the Journal of Bioscience Hypotheses…an author throws out an idea (completely divorced from any reality) and then the news – specifically LiveScience and Fox News – report it as scientific fact. This latest pseudo-science reporting is so BOGUS, it almost makes those of us here at Doc Gurley (wading
hip-deep in Bio-Hypo Bogosity) actually long for the days (in a misty, soft-focus kind of way) when Merck made up a journal, with imaginary-peers, who reviewed and published fabricated results – at least they PRETENDED there was some science involved.
So what’s the pseudo-claim this time? As usual, it involves genes and pregnancy. To wit (if you’ll pardon the oxymoronic phrase), one Dr. Alberto Halabe Bucay of Research Center Halabe and Darwich in Mexico states, “It is well known, of course, that parental behavior affects children, and that the genes that a child gets from its parents help shape that child’s character. My paper suggests a way that the parent’s psychology before conception can actually affect the child’s genes.”
In other words, you have to ask in the post-coital glow – was it good for you? Otherwise, if not, you might get saddled with cranky kids. The fact that there is no basis, biologically, genetically or even grammatically, for psycho-babble to produce happy sperm – that fact apparently deterred no one reporting Dr. Bucay’s claim as truth. Heck, that means there is only one appropriate rebuttal – to reply “Well, MY paper suggests a way that a mother’s wishful thinking can alter the time-space continuum of matter, anti-matter, sub-atomic particles, the price of gas at Costco, and even the universe. So there – ha!”
Oh wait, Oprah already covered that one…
Sheesh. It’s going to take some effort to find anything NEW to blame on mothers. Perhaps that’s where the achievement lies…
For this mind-boggling bit of credulous BOGUS reporting, we award both LiveScience and FoxNews an appropriately erudite Babies Oughtn’ta Get Unhappy Sperms (BOGUS) Award.
Seen a truly BOGUS bit of pseudo-science? Or have you got a thingie on your doohickey? Are you pondering how to tell your doctor he’s a jerk? Send your burning healthcare questions to Doc Gurley by emailing docgurleyatgmaildotcom. Doc Gurley cannot answer every question, and she cannot practice medicine through a keyboard (not even with her stethoscope pressed firmly against the monitor) but be assured – your questions will be kept strictly confidential and identifying traits are changed.