Comments on: How To Ask A Doctor Out

By: Walt

Walt — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 03:33:28 +0000

To preface this I am a healthy, intelligent, 52 year old male and am not intimidated by physicians, lawyers, celebrities or executives – although police and IRS auditors make me nervous. I don’t get the blanket concerns about ‘undo influence.’ I can see the obvious issues of a psychiatrist and a patient, or an older physician and a younger patient, but I am having trouble mapping this to my following situation.

Some number of years ago I had minor elective surgery performed by a competent female surgeon six years my junior. I see the surgeon every year or so for a follow up. She is in a group practice with a number of other surgeons. She is single and not in a relationship. I am wondering in these somewhat enlighten times if I can ask her out, and what the parameters of such a relationship must be. Finally should this lead to anything what are the long term concerns as I certainly would not want to jeopardize her livelihood.

By: not usually this timid

not usually this timid — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 00:56:55 +0000

I want to take my acupuncturist out. She’s not my doctor, but works in his office. She does perform acupuncture on me sometimes. Anyone have any advice? Is this a no no?

By: Wayne

Wayne — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 02:35:16 +0000

I want to ask my dentist out but I don’t know if it’s proper to for her. I’m 55 single with no kids she looks to be early 40s. She dosn’t wear a ring but I don’t know if it’s because she is washing her hands all day or if she is single. I really want to see her and since I only have one more appointment for a while I don’t want leave the office kicking myself for not trying. my chances of seeing her outside of work is pretty well zero. She seems really happy to see me. She seems more friendlier than a normal dentist patient relationship and has made it very easy to get appointments with her. A lot easier than with any other dentist and I know she is busy.
What do you think are my chances,or should I forget it. I have no problem getting another dentist to avoid the doctor patient thing.

By: Recommended Reading: Doc Gurley!

Recommended Reading: Doc Gurley! — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 12:34:41 +0000

[...] She covers all kinds of interesting tidbits on her own blog, too, from the informative (5 Crucial (and Weird) Whooping Cough Facts to Know) to the controversial (Airline Fees at the Doctor’s Office), with plenty of “funny” in between (How to Ask a Doctor Out). [...]

By: Laura

Laura — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 14:24:28 +0000

I’ve dated plenty of doctors while working at a hospital for 10 years. Interns have very little time available. Surgeon hours are better. The hardest thing for many doctors is that their level of intelligence exceeds the dating pool and they struggle with normal Joe/Jane in terms of communication. Long term relationships with normal Joe/Jane is dismal and aggrevating unless the Dr. is seeking someone that is just providing love and compassion.

I loved learning new things and intelligent conversation with the people that I dated. Had two long relationships with docs, one relationship ended because of my co-workers jealousy.

Asking a doc out, well typically they’ll give you a hint that they are interested.

By: Kevin Pezzi, MD

Kevin Pezzi, MD — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 18:34:44 +0000

I love your website, Doc Gurley. On mine, I have a few pages that discuss doctors and dating, especially in regard to the practicality and ethical aspects of it. If you’re interested, see the section of “Miscellaneous ER topics” on this page:
http://www.er-doctor.com/er_qa.html

I also discuss doctors and dating in two of my free e-books, True Emergency Room Stories (www.erbook.net/erbook1.htm) and Love & Lust in the ER (www.erlove.com/er_book.php).

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:38:36 +0000

I’d love to meet a doctor! I like to think that he’d be very interesting.

By: Student dating a doc.

Student dating a doc. — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 05:19:22 +0000

I’ve been dating a doctor for the past 3 months. At first I was intimidated because of his profession and the fact that he is 12 years older. When I first met him I was only an intern at his hospital. Before I dated him I was afraid to talk to doctors because of the idea that they are so “important” and was afraid of being laughed at for saying something stupid. However, he was the first to approach me and to show interest. The more time I spend with him the more I realize that being a doctor is just a day job. It definitely does not make the person. No matter how hard of a day he has he always makes time to spend with me or talk to me over the phone. He does what he can to be there for me and to support me with my studies. I believe that if a person truly does care for you, then he/she will do everything is their power to make it work. I recently met his family and I am very excited about the future. Even if he was a school teacher (not that there’s anything wrong with it- I’m a social worker student) I would still be dating him. The profession does not make the person.

By: Lucelle Bowl

Lucelle Bowl — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:52:07 +0000

I believe it is a different ball game when dating a dr. I dated a med student who was still in the process of finding where he was doing his residency. I didn’t look at him as a dr.even though he did remind me though. I knew him before he even went to med school and we were reacquainted after. I thought we fell in love, but he never wanted to commit knowing he couldn’t promise me a relationship that I deserve. And I understood his time would be occupied and he may want to date inter hospital staff for convenience. We had to let each other go regardless of what we wanted. If he were not a dr. , perhaps we would be together today. I was understanding at first and then doubt of his honesty and resentment stormed in in order for me to get over him. I miss him even today. I wish it didn’t have to be this way and I pray for the day he realizes Im the only girl for him, regardless of my degree. I loved/love him like no other. We didn’t even talk a lot of the time we just held each other and had fun that said to me, we just enjoyed each others presence. He is my soulmate and I would deal with the cons to be with him any day, because I understand them.

By: Shelly

Shelly — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 08:23:32 +0000

Doc Gurley (and other readers who might want to weigh in),

I started seeing a specialist for severe chronic pain about a year ago when my condition was so severe I was certain I was going to die. He was recommended by a friend of a friend. Although I have never been fond of doctors, I immediately liked him very much. Since then, with his help, I am almost completely recovered. I do not like him because he is a doctor, I like him because he is a wonderful human being. Were he a million dollars in debt, I would not care. I like him because he always does the right thing, he cares about the environment, he’s brilliant, good humored, and we finish each other’s sentences. I think had I met him anywhere else we probably would have started dating immediately, but I’ve not asked him out because until recently I needed him to be my doctor so much more desperately than I needed him to be my boyfriend. That is changing lately, and I do not think I will need him to be my specialist much longer. I am not sure the laws about specialists dating their patients in Wisconsin. Where can I find this? I’d ask if I should approach him about it or not, but if the law would permit him to see me, I would have no insecurities about my ability to approach him about it, and his ability to deal with it.