BOGUS Melons

Wow. It’s been so long since we’d seen a BOGUS Award recipient here at Doc Gurley, we were starting to wonder if something was up – had all the science writers in America gotten smarter? Were people stopping to think twice for fear of being outed here at Doc Gurley as truly BOGUS?

Nah.

Our lack-of-faith has been rewarded by a truly impressive BOGUS claim that got widespread gullible reporting nationwide. Yes, you know what we’re talking about – the report that watermelon acts like Viagra. Can it get any worse? In this self-serving “science” report, apparently a “study” (of what?) was funded by the Dept. of Agriculture, with results reported by spokespersons who are “scientists in Texas, one of the nation’s top producers of the seedless variety.” This scientist (actually, the “director of Texas A&M’s Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center”) confidently states that watermelon acts like Viagra because it has citrulline. Perhaps all of you who have chowed down on belly-stretching amounts of the sweet red stuff, but felt nothing afterward (except an urge to burp), are wondering – how is this possible? Follow along, if you can, through our maze of contorted logic. Citrulline could (under certain circumstances) be converted to arginine, which could (if your body had no regulatory mechanisms) rise to high enough levels to cause your blood vessels to theoretically dilate, which could (under certain circumstances, such as after you pass out) cause possibly similar effects to Viagra – in the minds of watermelon growers, at least. I’m pretty sure those guys got a serious rise out of this news report.

And what is the one media source to truly debunk this claim? CBS News – using a rebuttal from the representative for Viagra manufacturers, of course. Sigh. For this widely self-serving bit of pseudo-science, we award a Blatantly Overselling, Grasping, and Unbelievably Self-serving (BOGUS) Award.

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